Happy New Year!

December 31st, 2007 Comments Off on Happy New Year!

This is a funny time of year. A time of introspection and mild wonder. Where has the year gone?

I’m not alone when I say that 2007 was an absolute whirlwind. It’s not just my imagination when I say that time, in general, is speeding up. It’s not just a consequence of getting older, either. I’ve spoken to very young children who feel the same way. They tell me they never have time to do the things they really want to do. So why is that?

I could say that we’ve packed so many obligations and responsibilities into our lives that we have no room to turn. But haven’t we always done that? I mean, my time is more my own now than it ever has been. So why are the days whizzing past on the calendar?

It’s a simple matter of physics. If you paid attention in physics class, you will remember that time, as we understand it, is a property of gravity. The greater the force of gravity, the slower time seems to be.

As far as we humans know, the greatest gravitational density in the universe exists in black holes, those mysterious interstellar conduits. If you were to observe an astronaut falling into a black hole, time would seem to slow down to the point where you would never actually see the astronaut fall in.

Conversely, if gravitational forces are diminishing, wouldn’t time seem to speed up?

If our little planet were to shift ever so slightly on its axis, couldn’t that account for our feeling that time is actually speeding up? And if time should speed up exponentially, couldn’t it ultimately become so fast that everything would in fact seem to be motionless, like the wings of a hummingbird?

This leads me to consider the humble gnome. Gnomes exist at a vibrational level much slower than our own, which is why some people see them (such as the woman in Britain who receives gardening advice from her resident gnomes) and some people don’t. It also explains why gnomes live to be 300 years old.

If time were to speed up to a point where everything appeared to slow down, suddenly all sorts of fantastical things would begin to happen: dragons would appear in the skies, gnomes and faeries would manifest in the garden, ghosts and goblins would share space at the dinner table, and Nessy, that famed phantasm of Scottish waters, would surface.

Those who know, understand that these beings have always shared our planet. Doubters would attribute the phenomena to some sort of mass hysteria.

Most people live in horizontal time. Horizontal time is subject to gravity and many other influences, which is why nearly everyone you know is complaining about the fleeting nature of time.

The key to divine wisdom and thus enlightenment is to live in vertical time, or timelessness. Yogis throughout the ages understood this. As do gnomes – who undoubtedly practice yoga.

So if you want to reclaim your time and see gnomes, my advice is to practice yoga, preferably Kundalini yoga. There’s no time like the present!

Happy 2008 to All!

Love and Gnomes,


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